roam/20220115230949-closeted_cro...

1.3 KiB

Closeted Cross-Dressing

I struggle to remember what set the wheels in motion that led to me ordering some collections of clothing on eBay. Perhaps it was memories from cosplaying and crossplaying at Otakon, the exhiliration of it, the joy of expressing a different side of myself. I was in a painful place, having been unemployed for months with my severance dwindling. I had nothing but free time alone with myself and my depression. Perhaps, feeling so emasculated and left to perform more traditionally feminine-coded work around the apartment, I felt due to embody the part. Not that I enjoyed doing most of the chores any more than I did when my father made me do them for him before. Buying clothes online presented a risk of being found out when they arrived, but I did have the benefit of being home when they'd likely arrive, and it was far easier than facing the unthinkable anxiety of trying to go buy anything in person. I also didn't want to pour a bunch of money into it. I ended up buying a cheap lot of colorful tops and skirts, and a couple mixed collections of panties and thongs. Nothing too fancy or particularly stylish, but I had some stuff to mix and match.